Wrapping up the mat and sleeping bag roll and stowing it in the corner with pillow atop, I felt ennui. Even I felt sorry for the monitors next door, who also felt sad seeing me.
As I walked out of the house this morning a voice said, “You forgot the most important thing.” Closing the door behind me I thought in sequence, “Ah, I forgot to bow to True Parents, our Hope and Savior…. Oh, I forgot to pray to Heavenly Parent…” What else could I have neglected?
Climbed into the car, turned on National Radio. This time I heard an interesting song by a male voice. I caught the refrain, “사랑은 잊지 말아요… 아픔이라도, 자랑한 사랑… 사랑은 잊지 말아요!” Don’t forget the love, the proud love, despite the pain.
Korean culture and music is rich with ennui, han. I fit in very well here.
Arriving at the office, that song was still going through my head and heart.
Maybe if we connect “Logical Foundation of Universal Science” with the han of the Korean people, it can sell like hotcakes! Connect the head and the heart. (How…?)
The Shimjeong Sageon is able to connect the head and the heart. The Christ narrative beginning with loving and faithful Mother Mary, Jesus’ passion, his anguishing crucifixion, the two Marys and gardener finding His tomb empty, and the glorious encouraging resurrection has touched people’s hearts for two millennia.
True Parents lovable innocent birth story with miracles and kind deeds and eager curiosity in childhood, called by God and Jesus on the mountaintop, groping for the Truth, going through the dungeons, crossing the DMZ leaving home and family behind, the mud hut at Bom Net Col, and climbing up through forty years to meet and reconcile with their former enemies. This is today’s modern Shimjeong Sageon to move and inspire people everywhere.
And it took yet another thirty years to reach our own inner core, our own internal hidden Shimjeong Sageon: called by God from nursery school, taught and led by nature and conscience, wandering the whole world, overcoming countless challenges, finding my True Parents through German and Austrian people, going the arduous way pounding the pavement in ten thousand cities, persecuted and jailed numerous times, going to Africa then Russia, learning all about the personality and heart of former enemies, called by God for a very unusual mission no one could understand, experiencing ostracism, finally coming here to Korea, meeting Dr. Jin, and burying my Cross. This is my own Shimjeong Sageon filled with han—my treasure and badge.
Now I suddenly realize what I forgot: the bottle of milk I prepared. It’s now sitting forlorn on the kitchen table, through the heat of the day, waiting for its Owner.
I thought again on the message Kathi Ovchinnikova sent me, full of sympathy and encouragement. And with it was the darlingest emoticon of two girls hugging each other: Polina Lepyoshkina returned to her loving spiritual mother, her high school buddy. Kathi thanked me for caring for her sister, friend, and daughter these 25 years.
It’s a girls’ world, a no-no and a never-never land for guys, and I was immersed ever so deeply in the total secret garden and that among Russian women like a matryoshka.
The milk comes forth from Mother’s breast in fond embrace.
We breathe Life and Love into this Universal Science.
For that she came and now she returns home.
williamstoertz 